Kelly, age 8, feels distressed if she can't count her pencils in multiples of four. This uniquely designed volume is really two books in one. The first portion of each chapter teaches children and adolescents skills they can use to take charge of the illness. Instructions that follow show their parents how to provide encouragement and support. Based on the most effective known treatment for OCD, the book demonstrates ways to "boss back" when OCD butts in, enabling many youngsters and teens to eliminate their symptoms entirely.
Early-onset OCD is as common as diabetes; this powerful book will help thousands of young people show this unwelcome visitor to the door. Are you tormented by extremely distressing thoughts or persistent worries? Compelled to wash your hands repeatedly? Driven to repeat or check certain numbers, words, or actions? If you or someone you love suffers from these symptoms, you may be one of the millions of Americans who suffer from some form of obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD.
Once considered almost untreatable, OCD is now known to be a highly treatable disorder using behavior therapy. In this newly revised edition of Stop Obsessing!
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Foa and Wilson, internationally renowned authorities on the treatment of anxiety disorders, share their scientifically based and clinically proven self-help program that has already allowed thousands of men and women with OCD to enjoy a life free from excessive worries and rituals. Psychologist John Gottman has spent 20 years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage.
Originally published in , Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of couples attain more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. The 20th anniversary edition contains extensive revisions to this groundbreaking book, with a new chapter, new exercises, and a foreword detailing Dr.
John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
In this fully expanded and updated third edition of the bestselling classic, you learn why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, and how you can deal with it. You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.
In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the Outside Stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse--and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships.
She also outlines the Levels of Abuse that characterize this kind of behavior--from subtle, insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full-out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse. Drawing from hundreds of real situations suffered by real people just like you, Evans offers strategies, sample scripts, and action plans designed to help you deal with the abuse--and the abuser.
Mavis Hetherington, "without doubt the world's preeminent researcher on the family processes that surround divorce, Offering "a welcome corrective to misleading and simplistic accounts," Hetherington "not only provides scientifically sound and wonderfully sensible guidance but dispels the myth that divorce is always negative" Ross D. Parke, University of California, Riverside. This "widely-heralded study" Time is a "reader-friendly guide to how people can build success out of the stress and adversity of divorce" Michael Rutter, Institute of Psychiatry, London , presenting a more nuanced picture of marital breakup—not as a momentary event but as a life process.
Hetherington identifies the kinds of marriages that predispose a couple to divorce or not and also pinpoints "windows of change" that allow some to fashion the challenges of divorce into an opportunity for themselves and for their children. For the 70 percent of couples who have been affected by extramarital affairs, this is the only book to offer proven strategies for surviving the crisis and rebuilding the relationship —— written by a nationally known therapist considered an expert on infidelity. The discovery of an infidelity can deliver a devastating blow—but it can be survived.
Psychologist Don-David Lusterman has spent thousands of hours counseling clients who needed help coping with infidelity. In this book, he shares what he has learned in a step-by-step format that helps readers cope with the emotional impact of the affair, decide what it tells them about their marriage, and either choose to break up or begin to rebuild their relationship.
Talking Back to Ocd: The Program That Helps Kids and Teens Say 'No Way' -- And | Trade Me
Every child has "ornery" moments, but more than 1 in 20 American children exhibit behavioral problems that are out of control. For readers struggling with an unyielding or combative child, Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps To Better Behavior offers the understanding and guidance they need. Drawing on Dr. Russell A. Barkley's many years of work with parents and children, the book clearly explains what causes defiance, when it becomes a problem, and how it can be resolved. The book's comprehensive eight-step program stresses consistency and cooperation, promoting changes through a system of praise, rewards, and mild punishment.
Readers learn tools and strategies for establishing clear patterns of discipline, communicating with children on a level they can understand, and reducing family stress overall. Filled with helpful charts, questionnaires, and checklists, Your Defiant Child helps parents get their child's behavior back on track and restore harmony in the home. When your teen's rebellious behavior "Crosses the line," How can you reestablish your authority without getting caught in a power struggle?
Bestselling authors and distinguished psychologists Russell Barkley and Arthur Robin have each spent decades helping parents and kinds resolve standoffs and repair their relationships. Now they've distilled their approach into a clinically proven self-help program that can help you break through to your teen and rebuild trust.
Centered around 10 simple steps that lead to better behavior, Your Defiant Teen provides practical guidelines for putting an end to the hostilities. You'll learn realistic ways to foster mutual respect, introduce cooperative problem solving, and strengthen family relationships-while giving your teen vital skills for becoming a mature, independent adult. A child who responds to routine problems with extreme frustration-crying, screaming, swearing, kicking, hitting, biting, spitting, destroying property, and worse. A child whose frequent, severe outbursts leave his or her parents feeling frustrated, scared, worried, and desperate for help.
Most of these parents have tried everything-reasoning, explaining, punishing, sticker charts, therapy, medication-but to no avail. Top child psychologists offer expert insight and practical advice for raising strong kids in today's complicated world. In The Optimistic Child, Dr. Martin E. Seligman offers parents, teachers, and coaches a well-validated program to prevent depression in children.
In a thirty-year study, Seligman and his colleagues discovered the link between pessimism -- dwelling on the most catastrophic cause of any setback -- and depression. Seligman shows adults how to teach children the skills of optimism that can help them combat depression, achieve more on the playing field and at school, and improve their physical health. It is the creation of a positive strength, a sunny but solid future-mindedness that can be deployed throughout life -- not only to fight depression and to come back from failure, but also to be the foundation of success and vitality.
This revised edition of the award-winning Magic program addresses the difficult task of child discipline with humor, keen insight, and proven experience. The technique offers a foolproof method of disciplining children ages two through 12 without arguing, yelling, or spanking. By means of three easy-to-follow steps, parents learn to manage troublesome behavior, encourage good behavior, and strengthen the parent-child relationship—avoiding the "Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit" syndrome which frustrates so many parents.
New advice about kids and technology and new illustrations bring this essential parenting companion completely up-to-date. As a therapist, Mary Pipher was becoming frustrated with the growing problems among adolescent girls. Why were so many of them turning to therapy in the first place? Why had these lovely and promising human beings fallen prey to depression, eating disorders, suicide attempts, and crushingly low self-esteem?
The answer hit a nerve with Pipher, with parents, and with the girls themselves. Told in the brave, fearless, and honest voices of the girls themselves who are emerging from the chaos of adolescence, Reviving Ophelia is a call to arms, offering important tactics, empathy, and strength, and urging a change where young hearts can flourish again, and rediscover and reengage their sense of self.
Every parent wants the golden key to raising well-behaved, academically gifted, successful, happy children. Embedded in the collective psyche is the notion that discipline is the cornerstone to achieving these goals. Shefali Tsabary reveals how discipline is a major cause of generations of dysfunction. The key is ongoing meaningful connection between parent and child, free from threats, deprivation, punishment, and timeouts — all forms of manipulation.
Parents learn how to enter into deep communion with their children, understanding the reasons for a behavior and how to bring out the best in the child. Far from a laissez-faire, anything goes, approach, this is how a child learns responsibility and takes ownership of their life, equipped with character and resilience that flow naturally from within. Overcoming the Co-Parenting Trap helps parents understand the reasons why some children resist a parent during divorce—a reality that touches many families.
This guide details practical strategies for working through the significant challenges both parents may experience with a resisting child. Common scenarios and concrete solutions are presented both for preferred parents and resisted parents. Although the book is targeted at the parents of ADHD children, it will serve as a useful resource for teachers and others involved in the care and education of these children This book is unique in its up-to-date and clear presentation of the scientific underpinnings of the disorder and the pragmatic, empirically based approach to intervention that it encourages.
It is also very well organized and readable; it is probably the best available resource of this type. As a professional working with all types of children on a daily basis, you know what a positive influence parents can have on a child's success in school and beyond. You also know how essential parental involvement is for children with attention deficit disorders, especially when the child's difficult behaviors controlsituations with his or her peers, siblings, and adults.
Written in clear, nontechnical language, this much-needed guide provides practical, real-life techniques and activities to help With decades of experience working with ADD children, Dr. Jensen, M. An outstanding reference for the millions of adults suffering from adult ADHD, their families, and their friends. This book is an excellent resource for learning and coping with the medical and emotional effects of Adult ADHD.
Adults with ADD know how difficult it can be to meet the complex demands of adulthood. And, of course, one of the major challenges of adulthood is work. Unfortunately, the road to the right job may be difficult to negotiate, especially for adults with ADD. This book contains information that seeks to help adults move from resignation to determination in forging a path to success.
Upset by the pain their child is feeling, they give her reassurance, comfort, and lots of affection. When none of this eliminates OCD, everyone in the family feels helpless and increasingly hopeless, and OCD thrives when the blame game gets going. A shift in perspective works wonders. OCD is not about good or bad behavior. When you understand that OCD is a true brain illness, you realize that having it is not a matter of choice and resolving it is not a matter of willpower, though it does require good intentions.
OCD is no more a matter of choice than is diabetes or asthma. And, as with diabetes and asthma, there are strategies for making OCD better, for living a normal life that is not constantly restricted by the illness. This view of OCD does, however, have its limits. Although diabetes or asthma often requires family members to adjust the way they think, feel, and act, these illnesses do not cause the child to think, feel, and act differently than before the disease struck.
OCD does, and the typical family of a child with OCD can't help being frightened by these changes and feeling at a loss to deal with them. This is where another perspective comes to the rescue, one that professionals helping kids with OCD have adopted almost universally. No matter how hard your child and you try to stop them, the embarrassing and senseless obsessions of OCD keep popping up, and your child keeps feeling as if he must perform certain repetitive actions in response.
Like the hiccups, OCD may not seem so bad at first. But as time goes on, the hiccups get harder and harder to live with. If you had hiccups that not only refused to go away but got worse, it probably wouldn't be long before you felt as if you were trying to fit in breathing, speaking, eating, and every other function between hiccups.
As you undoubtedly know, that's the way kids and families challenged by OCD often feel. Billy is a 9-year-old third grader who came to us with severe OCD. Billy's father had had OCD as a child and, as an adult, recognized it right away, so he brought Billy in for treatment. Nonetheless, Billy felt to blame for not being able to control OCD, saying angrily, "I can't make my mind do what I tell it. The first step is to understand what OCD is and how it operates. With that knowledge as your foundation, your child and you will learn how to respond skillfully to obsessions and compulsions so that they get weaker and weaker and you all get your lives back.
One of the most important things for all of you to know is that you're not alone.
Talking Back to Ocd: The Program That Helps Kids and Teens Say 'No Way' -- And
As is the case with other medical illnesses, such as diabetes and asthma, kids with OCD are all over the place. The latest statistics tell us that as many as 1 in every children or teenagers has OCD today—about the same number of kids who have diabetes. That means that four or five kids with OCD are likely to be enrolled in any average-size elementary school. In a medium to large high school, there could be 20 students struggling with the challenges imposed by OCD. In adults, OCD is third among the most common forms of mental illness, almost three times more common than schizophrenia.
Most of these adults had OCD as children, and back then they didn't have access to programs like this one. If they had, maybe they would not be so troubled by OCD as adults. In children and teens, OCD is also among the more common forms of mental illness, about a sixth as common as ADHD or depression, for example. Knowing that your family is not alone in having to deal with OCD should make it easier for all of you to keep working together to help the child with OCD get better.
You can help your child understand this by saying something like what appears in the sidebar. In fact, the student sitting next to you in class is about as likely to have OCD as diabetes. Four or five kids with OCD are likely to be enrolled in any average-size elementary school. In a medium to large high school, there could be 20 students dealing with OCD. Normal kids have diabetes; normal kids have OCD.
You're just sick—temporarily. You're not so 'different' after all! Knowing your family isn't alone in this struggle helps for several reasons. First of all, there's comfort in numbers. A problem that affects hundreds of thousands of children in the United States alone can hardly be viewed as the exotic problem it may seem to be close up, in isolation. Throughout this book you'll meet many people who are sharing your challenges, and if that's not enough to ease your mind, a doctor who has seen many children with OCD will be able to assure you that you're in good company.
Viewing OCD from this broad perspective may be just what the whole family needs to step back, take a deep breath, and begin the work of fighting back—together. Second, there's help in numbers. If OCD is so widespread, then there is a huge number of other people who can recommend strategies they have found successful, warn you of pitfalls they've stumbled into, and offer emotional support when you need it.
Kids who are successfully fighting OCD characteristically demonstrate enormous courage and generosity in sharing their experiences to help others. A perfect example is the kids and their parents whose stories have enriched our understanding of how OCD works and how to beat it and whom you'll read about throughout this book.
Your doctor or therapist should be able to refer you to local sources of ongoing support, and the Resources section in this book contains a list of organizations. One of the cool things about going to the clinic was the chance to meet other teenagers with OCD and their parents.
We'd sit in the waiting room and tell stories about what OCD was doing and how we'd found ways to beat it at its own game using the approaches we learned. Once Chad was really getting better, what was really neat was to listen to him telling other kids who were just getting started, and weren't quite sure they wanted to buy into it, how great it was to be able to put OCD aside and get on with stuff he liked doing instead. Seeing the other kids brighten up really made him feel good about himself and what we were doing.
Third, where the numbers go, the research follows. That's due in part to the ability and willingness of kids with OCD to describe their experiences and also participate in research projects. We've found in our research, in fact, that kids and parents are often smarter and more informed about OCD than mental health professionals are, and this has led to dramatic strides in advocating for better treatments. But recognition of the large number of kids and adults harmed by OCD has led to studies at Duke University, the University of Pennsylvania, and other research centers around the world.
We now have a wealth of new information about what causes OCD see Chapter 3 , and—the best news of all—we have made huge strides in treating it see Chapter 4. So much so, in fact, that we can realistically hope to reduce the rates of OCD significantly among children and adults in the not too distant future. Probably the greatest benefit of realizing you're not alone with OCD is that it gets OCD out in the open as an illness.
OCD is not a part of who your child is, nor did you do anything to cause it. Once OCD is revealed as an illness, it becomes obvious that it's not the child's or parents' fault, any more than diabetes would be someone's fault. It is your responsibility to address OCD skillfully, however. Relieving themselves of guilt makes it much easier for most families to move from what hasn't worked to what does work. A survey of 5, high school students done in the late s found 18 students who had OCD, but none of them had been identified as having OCD, including the 4 who were seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist.
OCD is a bit more likely to be diagnosed these days, but nowhere near often enough, in part because many kids don't want to tell anyone they have a problem.
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